Greetings Fine Citizens of Erica,
Well after browsing the forums for several days while I wait for the suspension of my Lineage II account to lift I have become very displeased with the amount of activity and interesting topics that have been gracing our fine lands of l2blah. As a result I have decided to do a detailed analysis and research project on if Playa's mother does indeed have Cancer like he claims. Many people have been begging me to go easy on Playa and his mother since they claim it is such a dire time for his family but lets just take a look at the facts shall we?

First I present to you Playa's Mother as Exhibit A.



This picture was taken after one of my late night visits to her apartment while she was taking care of one of the many bastard children she fathers. Now many times in my stories I get private messages or E-mails of people who believe I may be exagerating or sometimes even LIEING to the people of Erica in my stories. So in this story I will use hard solid evidence and facts for everything I show. Exhibit B will show the evidence that this is indeed Playa's Mother. A google search of your own will CLEARLY prove that this is indeed our subject.



Now before I move any further let me first defend my honor. I believe it is common knowledge on this forum that Playa's mother and I do have an intimate relationship. Many of you will look at the subject and say "Zapem you brag about hitting [I]THAT[/I]"? And to you sirs I would like to say TWO things.

1) Its the principle. Only by conquering a man's mother sexual will you ever conquer a man on the field of battle.

AND

2) The following is what his mother looks like during intercourse. (With the exception of the baby of course)



With that out of the way lets move on. So does this woman have cancer? Well first lets evaluate the steps and procedures any dilligent and loving son would do if his mother had cancer. Lets ask ourselves the following questions.

1) Would he be playing online video games with the majority of his life and time instead of enjoying the last moments with his mother?

2) Would he spend quite possibly the last X-mas with an online community and "Sieging" as opposed to with his mother?

3) Would he vocalize the fact to his Enemies and the public knowing that the painful experience could be brought up time and time again?

I think it is safe to say that the answer to all these questions is "no".

"What is his motivation Zapem?"! Why would he lie about such a thing. Well the answer to that my friends required another late night B&E Session into Playa's Moms Basement.

As I walked up to the entrace to Playa's Lair I noticed something very different and peculiar.

A Flyer? What is THIS?! What could this BE? Why would there be a flyer tagged next to the entrace to playa's Lair? Perhaps this could be the clue I was looking for. I inspected the flyer closer!



Whats this? Gay partys and Server Police Lan Party's all going on in Playa's Mothers Basement now? This is a clue. But perhaps just one very small peice to a much larger puzzle. Reluctantly I entered the lair of Playa. Immediately I was taken back by the abundance of Gay Pornography littered on both the walls and the ground featuring Playa himself?! It had appeared he had applied these disgusting photo's by merely covering up the feces he had already smeared over the walls from my last visit! NOt wanting to view the aftermath of whatever sex party occured the night before I quickly looked for some more evidence.

Amongst a pile of "Men who like men who like leathers and chains" subscription magazines I found yet ANOTHER peculiar Flyer!



WHAT IS THIS? I quickly had Hkizzle (Who is asian and was small enough to fit in my fanny pack)...(And yes I was using a fanny pack)...(And yes that does make me cool)... Decipher the flyer! Quickly Hkizzle declared that it was his own mothers house (more like a shack) that was laying right above us was for SALE to any gold farmer for a +16 Sword of Valhalla.

AH HA..... The clues were becoming quite clear. It is obviuos that Playa was attempting to declare his mother dead so that he could SELL her shack out from under her in attempts to get a Glowing Red Valhalla Sword because he realized after C4 his Homok would be nerfed! And worst of all citizens of Blah he was going to use YOU and I as witnesses to his mothers passing at the time of Sale of the shack!

But one thing was still missing. Where has Mrs. Playa's Mom been this whole time? How has she been oblivious to the gay raves he's been throwing in her absence and his attempts to sell her house! I checked the first place any person would leave a note to a loved one.... I checked the kitchen fridge. I did indeed find a note to Playa and his SP friends from his mother but NOT the note I was looking for!



After searching for hours I eventually gave up. Discouraged I decided to go home to one of my houses I bring the ladies two for a quick ****. As I opened the front door THERE was Playa's Mother IN THE NUDE (With her bag of course).

"I've been waiting weeks for you Zapem, Its been so long since you last SpellSung the $hit out of me, TAKE ME ZAPEM".

Feeling pity on the life my nemesis Playa has resorted to I decided not to tell his mother everything and just shag her again instead. But know this Playa. Your mother has been satisfied and its only a matter of time before she returns... I hope you had a quick Escrow.... I hope you had a very quick escrow....


And once again Citizens of Erica and Blah I, Zapem, King of all Kings, Champion of all Champions, and true Sherlock Holmes of Lineage II have solved yet another SP mystery.

Thank You.